But it's a self-reliance that is motivated by the felling of powerlessness. That is what the stoics said.

I fully agree that there are nuggets of wisdom in stoic writings that can be helpful. And just like I don't throw out all of Aristotle because of his attitudes about "natural slaves" and women, I don't throw out all of stoicism. Let's dispense with the faddish pop-psych way that stoicism is discussed today and teach about it in its context, warts and all. The metaphysics behind it is fascinating! You are correct. Understanding stoicism in its context, not as quote-a-day fluff, can be highly edifying.