Thank you for being bold enough to speak some truth on this. Many people for many reasons have attempted to place a gloss of rationality over their opinions to justify theur feelings. Atheism is a position born of hostility against religion in general that sometimes pretends to have a rational argument backing it. However, the use of reason to argue for or against "god" however conceived was shown to be foolish centuries ago by Immanuel Kant. The theist-atheism argument is inherently illogical and a waste of time.
Besides, the universe is MUCH more complex and wonderful than either the theists or atheists can suppose.